These are portals to two forms of arousal: physical (reflexogenic) and mental (psychogenic), says Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.
Touch or massage the rim of her ear between your thumb and forefinger while cradling the back of her head with your fingers. (Ignore the insensitive earlobe.)
As she responds, graze the ridge of her outer ear with the tip of your nose, says Anne Hooper, coauthor of 269 Amazing Sex Tips and Tricks for Men. “Just hearing you breathe will turn her on,” she says.