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The New Rules of Oral Sex

Sex and Love

The New Rules of Oral Sex


DON’T . . .

Pressure her: Guilt-tripping your gal into giving head will only succeed in making her resentful. Instead, stick to telling her how much you love her blowjobs and letting her decide if she wants to take a trip downtown, Ghose says.


Manhandle her head: Pushing her head down onto your penis while she’s giving oral can strain her neck and make it hard to breath.

“Let her lead and control the depth and rhythm,” says Jill McDevitt, Ph.D., a sexologist who teaches in-home Fellatio 101 classes. This will work in your favor: Some women are turned on by giving head because it puts them in control.


Bark orders: Commands like “deeper” or “slow down” can come off as criticism. And surely you’d never want to criticize a woman who’s giving you a freaking blowjob!

Giving guidance can be a good thing, though, if you phrase your requests in a positive way, says Ghose. As in: “It’s so hot when you use your tongue on me, baby.”

Leave her hanging: You’re fully satisfied after your orgasm, but she’s probably not—so don’t just zip up your pants and get on with your day. Let her know that her turn is next, even if it’s not right this second, Ghose says.

Say: “I’m so relaxed right now and I really want to focus on you next. Give me a few minutes or an hour.”

Just make sure she knows this isn’t the end. 

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